A few days ago, I was asked to release ancestors sadness and despair from their past. it all started with meditation and before I knew I was inside of a circle of people who begged for help. Sudden burst of tears started flowing as I could feel their emotions, grief and pain. I called upon the creator who asked me to trust in him and the process and said ‘yes’, of course I will trust you. The next 12 -16 hours were really intense.
Many emotions came rumbling and shaking lose on the grounds of this Katchner Caverns campground. It was as simple as walking a pathway to the discovery center and a sudden wave of tears and indescribable sadness be felt. Was this mine or theirs I started asking myself. I was on top of the mountain, with the views and journey I was witnessing, how could it be mine? Once deciphered they were not my emotions, but lineage(s) before me who cried and begged for help to release them from the pain and despair, I also realized I needed help from one of my shaman teachers, because another lesson needed to be revealed.
Discernment with people, situations, emotions has become another part of this journey on the road. Not only does Djaz point out people who are in need, who she’s comfortable with, or not, but also me, who’s learning to discern! In this case, it was regarding ancestral energy, which overwhelmed and scared me, yet initially i had said “of course I will help you, yet I do not know how”. Then what happened is that the energy was so strong, that it had taken complete control over my emotions/feelings. Now I was no longer in control, they were.
After a few sudden emotional outbreaks, I had to take a step aside and called in one of my dear teachers as I knew this was an agreement I didn’t own or couldn’t get to, alone!! We set up a time to speak and to discover the truth while continuing tears as I couldn’t even speak the sadness and despair I felt with what I saw and felt. With her amazing being, she’s coaching me on entities, energy being mine or someone else’s and where I can or will not allow myself to be part of it. When these situations occur, it’s frightening and scary, I needed to hold Mary’s hand through this process, knowing she creates a loving and safe container while getting to the bottom of the agreement and releasing thereof. Once I was able to breathe again (felt like an elephant had been sitting on my chest and lungs), I felt relieved and another baby step closer in understanding the different facets of energy.
While looking back at this rather intimidating energy lesson, it was such a worthy discovery. Now the question is, where to devote my time and energy, where I lose and gain energy, with whom do I feel it trickles out, or the cup is being filled? The assignment given was to stalk myself and find out! A few days in to it, I have made some distinct discoveries and the needed changes, to my day, hours and minutes with where to hold myself!!! Doesn’t mean it will be like that daily but as long as I know I am able to witness energy loss or gain, I can redirect myself!!! The longer this journey, the more I believe in gaining perspective, ownership and power of myself, in a humble way though friends!
When was the last time you took inventory of where you focus and lose energy versus focus and gain momentum and energy?